Rabid Ferret began his life as an ordinary ferret. He spent his days scurrying through his suburban household, gnawing on turkey necks, taking naps on the couch with his family, and dreaming what life in California would be like if he were allowed there.
One day, when Ferret was collecting lint from the dryer for his sleeping nest, he stumbled upon an open door to his Master’s office, a room normally shut under lock and key. Looking right then left, seeing the coast was clear, Ferret entered the oaky room and found a nest far greater than his own, a jumble of computer wires tucked under his desk! As he curled up to take his afternoon nap in the cords, his hair started to stand on its end and the room began to quake! He looked down at his Ferret body and it began to shift and contort and SHRINK! With a ZOOM and a VROOM and big pull, Ferret was sucked into his newly found nest, leaving his home, his Master, and a good nap behind.
Ferret, feeling dazed, brushes himself off and stands in a vast expanse of shimmering green digital rain. He walks amongst the metallic code, reaching out to touch but feeling nothing, dreaming he was dawning a cool leather duster to truly fit the scene. As he moves in awe, something loud, big, and metal crashes down from above the shimmer. A phish hook! Ferret wheels around, this way and that, dashing through the rain, moving to avoid the swinging, wielding hook from above. Just when he thinks he is out of harm's way, RIIPPPP! The hook rises up into cyberspace, an email to his Master in tow.
Ferret moves on, trying to find an end in sight, searching for a way back to the safety of his home. He dodges web pages, emails, videos, and documents as they soar across cyberspace. Taking shelter in his Master’s downloads folder, Ferret feels a slight tickle on his foot, then his elbow, and then his neck. As he moves to find the source, a big and bright bite shocks his system. His vision glitches, his body jolts. BITE, BITE, BITE! As the world around him begins to fade, he catches a glimpse of a teeny tiny mechanical spider skittering away…
Ferret awakens with a jolt. A surge of energy courses through his veins. His body feels stronger, his mind clearer. He stands up and sees he’s still in cyberspace, safe between the pages of one of Master’s .pdfs. FLASH! A bolt of hot energy floods his consciousness. Without thinking he jumps into a sprint, running faster than he ever had before! He runs between web pages and files, dashes around media, jumps over emails and conference calls! Never tiring, he darts through the OS, exploring his surroundings at superspeed when he spots something peculiar.
He slows, hiding behind the code of a .exe file. Looking out, he sees a bulbous tubelike form munching on lines and lines of code. The more lines the creature eats, the bigger it gets. As its fleshy body grows in size, Ferret sees it start to morph and split down the middle! The fleshy being snaps off with a squelch into two wormy creatures, inching on to devour more. Cyberspace around him begins to flicker and warp. As Ferret watches, his anger boils, his energy rises. The creature is dismantling his Master’s files, line by line! He feels a warm, frothy substance escape his mouth, foaming and mad, hating the worms.
Confused with what was overtaking his body, but clear on what he must do, he charges the worms like an arrow, fast and targeted. Rabid and angry! Fast to eliminate the creature that was destroying his Master’s files, he raises his Ferret Fists in impressive combat. Jabbing and hooking the worms with a POW and a SPLAT! With each hit, rabid foam clings to each worm, dissolving its fleshy skin with a SIZZLE and POP! Both worms attempt to fight back, flinging their heavy tail in Ferret’s direction, but Ferret is too quick. He steers and dives, fighting and foaming with vengeance. With each hit, the worms start to slow, swaying and disintegrating. Digits weep from their skin, pooling around them. With a final jab to the mouth, one of the worms explodes! Jumbled code splats onto the cyberspace floor.
Ferret looks at his paws, dripping in code and rabid foam. He eyes the second worm, seething and holding on for its pathetic life. Ferret stands on his back two legs and strides over to the worm. With one roundhouse kick, and a SQUELLCCHHH the second worm bursts, leaving an oozy digital mess behind. Ferret feels a surge of power and excitement in his small Ferret body, and his foam starts to subside. He walks away from the scene hungry for more.
Ferret walks through cyberspace, remembering the sharp bite he felt before the blackout. Before his journey into the computer, Ferret felt like just a ferret. Happy in his home with not a care in the world. He ponders his new powers, and feels a small sadness in his chest - he misses his family. He passes the same files, emails, and web searches as he did before when he notices two words glowing in the distance: LOG OUT. As he approaches the beacon, a blackened doorway comes into view. Hoping this was his way back home, Ferret reaches through the portal. With a pull and a stretch, Ferret is sucked back into time and space. Emerging from the computer cords in his Master's Office.
Feeling at peace in his technical nest, he also feels strong and purposeful. He can run longer than he ever had before. Climb faster. Jump higher! He can engage in combat! Interested in his new abilities, he climbs onto his Master’s Desk and searches for the Internet’s most reliable Symptom Checker - NetMD. There, he selects the following symptoms:
Pleased with his selection, he submits his entry, and his condition is revealed:
Ferret stares at the results in awe. For one, he realizes that for the first time in his life, he can read. Secondly, he opens a new tab in his Master’s browser and searches COMPUTER VIRUS. Hundreds of millions of results pop up on the screen. News stories of businesses at risk, instances of malware, and bad guys called HACKERS who are out to infect computers just like his Master’s. As he scrolls through story after story, result after result, Rabid’s blood begins to boil, his anger spewing out in rabid froth. He thinks of his Master and friends of his Master, all working endless hours to provide for their family, contributing to society, and the Hackers who are out there to destroy it all.
With a mad dash, he springs from the desk back into the nest of wires. With a ZOOM and a VROOM, he’s pulled back into cyberspace. Ready to fight for his Master’s safety. Rabid with justice! Swearing vengeance on every virus, worm, ransom, and threat, and the bad guys responsible for their creation.
